I decided to create this website to put together my work. The stories below were created at different times in my life, but they were created with a purpose. My goal in life is to write to inspire. To inspire others to go after what they believe is for their lives but to know that if you put God first in everything you do, what you desire for your life will be manifested greater than you could have ever imagined.
I hope to follow after my passion, which is to write, be it stories, possibly articles or maybe even a book. Only God knows if these will ever come to pass but I believe in myself and I believe if I follow after my dreams, the sky is the limit. We must all live with a purpose and if we never go after what we feel will enlighten our lives, then we are just living for other people's enjoyment and passion.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
A Gift From God
Wow, where should I begin. On September 6, 2003, I met Dr. Rob Gucciardo, in Queens, NY for the first time. My wife brought me to him because she was experiencing pains in her back and neck. She had heard about him on 570AM, a Christian radio station. She didn’t want to go alone, and wanted me to accompany her. She also wanted me to see him, meet him, and see if he could do anything for me. I have to admit, I didn’t want to go, you see I myself have been going through a lot, prior to that day, and I did not want to hear anything a doctor had to say, let alone a Chiropractor.
I have been sick my entire life, going back and forth to doctors offices, and in and out of Hospitals. So I really never knew what true health felt like. Back in February of this past year, I came down with a very bad stomach virus. Within 6 months I lost 20lbs. Mind you it took me 4 years to gain 20lbs. So what was going on was drastic. I started to get anxiety attacks, panic attacks, I was very weak, and every part of my body was hurting. I would walk up a flight of steps and be out of breath. I am 30 years young, and I felt older. I saw every doctor that you can think of, all kinds of specialists, heart, lung, ENT, and gastro. I was taken to the hospital on different occasions, just because I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was having a heart attack. I was going crazy literally. Every doctor told me that nothing was wrong, that it was all mental. I could not understand it. I became angry because I knew what my body was going through, what I was feeling, so it made me feel that I was going crazy, because the doctors said that nothing was wrong. So when my wife insisted that I try Doctor Gucciardo, I was like what was he going to tell me, “I’ll straighten your back, but your stomach and your weight, oh that is in your head.” Nope I didn’t want to hear that again.
But, September 6, 2003, truly changed my life. That visit was for my wife, but I also felt that God brought me to Dr. Gucciardo for a reason. After we left the office and I made an appointment for myself, I told my wife that there was something different about this doctor, something real good. His demeanor, his smile, it was overwhelming.
After my x-rays were done, and I shared everything that was wrong with my body, we just sat down with my wife and talked. That conversation was so awesome. I felt God orchestrating everything that evening. I couldn’t believe that God brought me to a Doctor that was compassionate and cared about all that I had been going through. A doctor that actually listened to me. It was overwhelming to sit there and know that God’s presence was in that room. One thing I will never forget that Dr. Rob told me, “God brings us through certain trials and tribulations in our lives, but all in all, if we just have faith in him, and believe in him, then he will heal us”.
Dr. Rob was true to all that he told me. He explained everything that was going to happen, and all that I may or may not feel. He gave me 100% attention and allowed me to ask as many questions, so that I would feel comfortable with all that my body has been going through. I would experience many changes, but changes that will bring me to full health. Something that I have never felt in my entire life.
It has been almost two months since that first visit, and my anxiety is no more, I do not feel like I am having any heart attacks and my breathing is not an issue any longer. I know that my body needs time to heal, but by the grace of God and the hands of Dr. Rob, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not only has Dr. Rob showed me what true health will be like, but he has also shown me how to smile again and not worry about anything. No matter what, we are all children of God, and he alone will heal us and bring us to happiness. I am just glad that God put Dr. Rob in my life to assist him with his plan. Not only is he my Doctor, but he is my friend. My Brother in Christ.
I have been sick my entire life, going back and forth to doctors offices, and in and out of Hospitals. So I really never knew what true health felt like. Back in February of this past year, I came down with a very bad stomach virus. Within 6 months I lost 20lbs. Mind you it took me 4 years to gain 20lbs. So what was going on was drastic. I started to get anxiety attacks, panic attacks, I was very weak, and every part of my body was hurting. I would walk up a flight of steps and be out of breath. I am 30 years young, and I felt older. I saw every doctor that you can think of, all kinds of specialists, heart, lung, ENT, and gastro. I was taken to the hospital on different occasions, just because I felt as if I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was having a heart attack. I was going crazy literally. Every doctor told me that nothing was wrong, that it was all mental. I could not understand it. I became angry because I knew what my body was going through, what I was feeling, so it made me feel that I was going crazy, because the doctors said that nothing was wrong. So when my wife insisted that I try Doctor Gucciardo, I was like what was he going to tell me, “I’ll straighten your back, but your stomach and your weight, oh that is in your head.” Nope I didn’t want to hear that again.
But, September 6, 2003, truly changed my life. That visit was for my wife, but I also felt that God brought me to Dr. Gucciardo for a reason. After we left the office and I made an appointment for myself, I told my wife that there was something different about this doctor, something real good. His demeanor, his smile, it was overwhelming.
After my x-rays were done, and I shared everything that was wrong with my body, we just sat down with my wife and talked. That conversation was so awesome. I felt God orchestrating everything that evening. I couldn’t believe that God brought me to a Doctor that was compassionate and cared about all that I had been going through. A doctor that actually listened to me. It was overwhelming to sit there and know that God’s presence was in that room. One thing I will never forget that Dr. Rob told me, “God brings us through certain trials and tribulations in our lives, but all in all, if we just have faith in him, and believe in him, then he will heal us”.
Dr. Rob was true to all that he told me. He explained everything that was going to happen, and all that I may or may not feel. He gave me 100% attention and allowed me to ask as many questions, so that I would feel comfortable with all that my body has been going through. I would experience many changes, but changes that will bring me to full health. Something that I have never felt in my entire life.
It has been almost two months since that first visit, and my anxiety is no more, I do not feel like I am having any heart attacks and my breathing is not an issue any longer. I know that my body needs time to heal, but by the grace of God and the hands of Dr. Rob, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Not only has Dr. Rob showed me what true health will be like, but he has also shown me how to smile again and not worry about anything. No matter what, we are all children of God, and he alone will heal us and bring us to happiness. I am just glad that God put Dr. Rob in my life to assist him with his plan. Not only is he my Doctor, but he is my friend. My Brother in Christ.
United We Stand, Divided We Fall
It is the morning after the most historic event in our lifetime, and this is how it felt to me, it felt like Game 7 of the World Series, both teams tied at 3 games apiece. Bottom of the ninth inning and Team Obama down a bunch of runs, then the rally starts, the most significant rally in all ages, and Team Obama comes back with hits all over the country, base hits, home runs and it doesn't stop until Team Obama wins the biggest game that America has ever played. That is how I saw it last night. I watched the tallies as if it was the most important game in my lifetime, and actually it was.
For the past six months I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I started out full fledged with support to Obama, then all the stories started, all the fears were brought up, could they be true, or was it just a scare tactic. Was it a way to get you away from casting a vote that will rewrite the history books. I decided that I would ride the middle train and see where it took me, I wouldn't profess my allegiance to any one party. I had to investigate which party I felt held my values and which party would make this country good again, a land of hope again.
I couldn't figure it out and allowed myself to fall prey to all the rhetoric that surrounded me, instead of just going with my heart, with my gut feeling. I prayed on it and asked God to lead me to which way he knew was the right way, but I still didn't know. But along this journey I saw things that I didn't think were what God meant when he said that we must love each other and give a hand to those that need it the most.
I listened to radio stations, that professed to be Christians, but didn't show the trueness of what a Christian is. Were they facts or mere tales, or ways to change your mind. You know it is really easy to get people to think one way if you only give them one side of the story and do not give them an opportunity to choose on their own by hearing the other side of the story. That is what I was out to accomplish, hearing both sides.
I have heard all of the tales about Obama's connections to radicals, but do you honestly think that our Government will just roll over and allow a man to radically change what has been in place for hundreds of years, and so what if he is a Muslim, what is so wrong with that. Yes after 9/11 we have looked at Muslims as lower than dirt, but what about all of those American-Muslims that pay taxes as we do and live amongst us, that have become our friends or even classmates with our children. Are we merely being hypocritical towards them. Don't they have the right to vote as well, and should we single them out for what radical Muslims have done. Is that fair? I think not.
I understand both sides, but I have my belief system, and I may not agree wholeheartedly with Obama on all of the issues, but I truly feel that the time is now to show the world that we can bring this country back to where we have their respect. We can be a power in this world, but wouldn't it be better to have less enemies and more friends. I may not have all the answers that most people seem to think that they have, but I know that I follow a God that will lead this nation to great things. A great future.
We need to show unity not only to each other but to our children. If we don't embrace the change, then what are we teaching our kids. That hatred is ok, that we do not love our fellow Americans, that this historic time is merely a fluke, that it truly doesn't matter. Of course it matters. You have kids all over this country waking up today and realizing that their dreams of one day becoming President is a reality now, it is not a dream any longer, one that Martin Luther King Jr had, rest his soul and he is truly smiling down on us from Heaven, it is reality, it is possible. We must unite as a nation and find out what is needed to get us back on track.
My friend Solomon and I spoke today and he shared this story with me:
Solomon lives in North Carolina and he was out canvassing and knocking on doors last night with his son, Juwan, who is 11 years old. It was getting pretty late and Solomon was getting tired and told his son that he couldn't see the numbers anymore on the house and they should get back to headquarters. Juwan had a look on his face of disgust and Solomon asked him what was wrong with him, and Juwan asked why were they quitting, they had more doors to knock on and they still had time to get the word out about Obama. Solomon said that this was coming from an 11 year old that knew that back at the headquarters there was candy and cookies and all treats but he understood the magnitude of what this meant for all people. So this election was not just about electing a Black man into office, it was about changing the minds of the people and bringing so much hope to all. Especially a 11 year old boy.
Today I will say that I am proud to be an American, and if someone one wants to use those words against me, then go right ahead, we as a people have stood up and professed what we want, and we were strong in doing so. Over 50 million people voted for Obama in this country.
I truly understand now the magnitude of Obama becoming our President, I truly understand what it means to all the African-Americans all over this country. I truly understand how it can change people’s thinking from negative to positive. Last night was an historic event and I am truly grateful that I am alive to experience this and that my son, will one day be able to share this story with his own kids that he was alive at the pinnacle point in American history.
For the past six months I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I started out full fledged with support to Obama, then all the stories started, all the fears were brought up, could they be true, or was it just a scare tactic. Was it a way to get you away from casting a vote that will rewrite the history books. I decided that I would ride the middle train and see where it took me, I wouldn't profess my allegiance to any one party. I had to investigate which party I felt held my values and which party would make this country good again, a land of hope again.
I couldn't figure it out and allowed myself to fall prey to all the rhetoric that surrounded me, instead of just going with my heart, with my gut feeling. I prayed on it and asked God to lead me to which way he knew was the right way, but I still didn't know. But along this journey I saw things that I didn't think were what God meant when he said that we must love each other and give a hand to those that need it the most.
I listened to radio stations, that professed to be Christians, but didn't show the trueness of what a Christian is. Were they facts or mere tales, or ways to change your mind. You know it is really easy to get people to think one way if you only give them one side of the story and do not give them an opportunity to choose on their own by hearing the other side of the story. That is what I was out to accomplish, hearing both sides.
I have heard all of the tales about Obama's connections to radicals, but do you honestly think that our Government will just roll over and allow a man to radically change what has been in place for hundreds of years, and so what if he is a Muslim, what is so wrong with that. Yes after 9/11 we have looked at Muslims as lower than dirt, but what about all of those American-Muslims that pay taxes as we do and live amongst us, that have become our friends or even classmates with our children. Are we merely being hypocritical towards them. Don't they have the right to vote as well, and should we single them out for what radical Muslims have done. Is that fair? I think not.
I understand both sides, but I have my belief system, and I may not agree wholeheartedly with Obama on all of the issues, but I truly feel that the time is now to show the world that we can bring this country back to where we have their respect. We can be a power in this world, but wouldn't it be better to have less enemies and more friends. I may not have all the answers that most people seem to think that they have, but I know that I follow a God that will lead this nation to great things. A great future.
We need to show unity not only to each other but to our children. If we don't embrace the change, then what are we teaching our kids. That hatred is ok, that we do not love our fellow Americans, that this historic time is merely a fluke, that it truly doesn't matter. Of course it matters. You have kids all over this country waking up today and realizing that their dreams of one day becoming President is a reality now, it is not a dream any longer, one that Martin Luther King Jr had, rest his soul and he is truly smiling down on us from Heaven, it is reality, it is possible. We must unite as a nation and find out what is needed to get us back on track.
My friend Solomon and I spoke today and he shared this story with me:
Solomon lives in North Carolina and he was out canvassing and knocking on doors last night with his son, Juwan, who is 11 years old. It was getting pretty late and Solomon was getting tired and told his son that he couldn't see the numbers anymore on the house and they should get back to headquarters. Juwan had a look on his face of disgust and Solomon asked him what was wrong with him, and Juwan asked why were they quitting, they had more doors to knock on and they still had time to get the word out about Obama. Solomon said that this was coming from an 11 year old that knew that back at the headquarters there was candy and cookies and all treats but he understood the magnitude of what this meant for all people. So this election was not just about electing a Black man into office, it was about changing the minds of the people and bringing so much hope to all. Especially a 11 year old boy.
Today I will say that I am proud to be an American, and if someone one wants to use those words against me, then go right ahead, we as a people have stood up and professed what we want, and we were strong in doing so. Over 50 million people voted for Obama in this country.
I truly understand now the magnitude of Obama becoming our President, I truly understand what it means to all the African-Americans all over this country. I truly understand how it can change people’s thinking from negative to positive. Last night was an historic event and I am truly grateful that I am alive to experience this and that my son, will one day be able to share this story with his own kids that he was alive at the pinnacle point in American history.
When God Speaks, We Listen
While I sit here pondering what will be the affects of Tropical Fay to my home, I remembered an awesome thing that happened to me at Busch Gardens, FL.
Well my two year old son and I were about to board a ride, and as I turned around to see if there was anyone else behind us, there stood a young boy, approximately 10 - 12 years old. I noticed that there was one egg shaped ride left on the carousel with three seats. I felt this urge to invite him to sit with us, so he wouldn't have to wait for another turn when our ride was over. I asked him and he agreed.
We sat cramped all together in this half egg shaped ride and as we went round and round we just engaged in small talk, mostly to keep my son from getting scared. As the ride came to a stop, we ended up having to wait for everyone else to get off before we could. At that moment as we were going around again, I felt another urge to ask him where he was from. He shared with me that he had just moved with his family from NY two months prior and how he missed home and had to leave his friends, family and pets behind. I shared that we were also from NY and that we have been here 2 years and that I too missed home, but I knew that we were in a good place. I encouraged him to hang in there and that I felt he was in a good place as well. He pointed out his parents and as we exited the ride I told him I hoped he had a great life here.
I caught up with my wife and as I am standing there with her, this woman approaches me and tells me, "I am not sure what you told my son, but I want to thank you". I was a bit confused as to why she was thanking me, and I told her that he and I had a candid conversation about back home in NY. She said that, he had been struggling with the move, that he had been really withdrawn from them and misbehaving and not himself at all. They just had no idea what to do with him, they kept looking back and wondering if they made a good choice on the move because they understood it was hard for him, but being here offered them a better life.
The young man’s mother said that after the ride, he ran over to her and told her all about my conversation with him and how I too was from NY and on how he felt that everything would be ok. That based on what I told him, he was comfortable with the move now.
I tried to analyze what could I have said to him to change such behaviors, I mean it wasn't like I preached to him or anything like that, it was just a basic conversation. But as I looked back on that moment I realized that when God wants to touch someone and help them, he will use anything to get his point across, he will even use one of us in the simplest of ways.
I felt in awe that the Lord would choose to use me to touch a strangers life. Even in my own struggles and knowing that I may be not be where I need to be with God each and every day of my own life, he still takes special opportunities to use us in a mighty way.
On my ride home, I just lifted that boy up in prayer that God would just continue to touch his life and give his parents the strength that they need to make this move a successful one for themselves.
And also, I feel that this is God just showing me that no matter what I am going through or feeling, that there are others that may be going through the same and we can all share in it together.
Well my two year old son and I were about to board a ride, and as I turned around to see if there was anyone else behind us, there stood a young boy, approximately 10 - 12 years old. I noticed that there was one egg shaped ride left on the carousel with three seats. I felt this urge to invite him to sit with us, so he wouldn't have to wait for another turn when our ride was over. I asked him and he agreed.
We sat cramped all together in this half egg shaped ride and as we went round and round we just engaged in small talk, mostly to keep my son from getting scared. As the ride came to a stop, we ended up having to wait for everyone else to get off before we could. At that moment as we were going around again, I felt another urge to ask him where he was from. He shared with me that he had just moved with his family from NY two months prior and how he missed home and had to leave his friends, family and pets behind. I shared that we were also from NY and that we have been here 2 years and that I too missed home, but I knew that we were in a good place. I encouraged him to hang in there and that I felt he was in a good place as well. He pointed out his parents and as we exited the ride I told him I hoped he had a great life here.
I caught up with my wife and as I am standing there with her, this woman approaches me and tells me, "I am not sure what you told my son, but I want to thank you". I was a bit confused as to why she was thanking me, and I told her that he and I had a candid conversation about back home in NY. She said that, he had been struggling with the move, that he had been really withdrawn from them and misbehaving and not himself at all. They just had no idea what to do with him, they kept looking back and wondering if they made a good choice on the move because they understood it was hard for him, but being here offered them a better life.
The young man’s mother said that after the ride, he ran over to her and told her all about my conversation with him and how I too was from NY and on how he felt that everything would be ok. That based on what I told him, he was comfortable with the move now.
I tried to analyze what could I have said to him to change such behaviors, I mean it wasn't like I preached to him or anything like that, it was just a basic conversation. But as I looked back on that moment I realized that when God wants to touch someone and help them, he will use anything to get his point across, he will even use one of us in the simplest of ways.
I felt in awe that the Lord would choose to use me to touch a strangers life. Even in my own struggles and knowing that I may be not be where I need to be with God each and every day of my own life, he still takes special opportunities to use us in a mighty way.
On my ride home, I just lifted that boy up in prayer that God would just continue to touch his life and give his parents the strength that they need to make this move a successful one for themselves.
And also, I feel that this is God just showing me that no matter what I am going through or feeling, that there are others that may be going through the same and we can all share in it together.
When I Look Back on My Journey...................
This past year, has gone by so fast, but while living in it, felt like it would never end. 2007, what can I say, a year full of many experiences, some I wish I could just forget or even change. But, without life experiences, we would never be able to grow and become stronger from our daily lessons. It is weird how you can look back and see all that you have gone through, but when you are in the mist of something, you can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel, you can't even imagine that it can get better, you feel like there is a really dark cloud over you, blinding you and there is no answer. No one can help you not even God.
Well, that right there, is wrong. God can help you, he is the only one that can get you out of those types of feelings, of situations, but I guess unless you go to him wholeheartedly, you won't get out of it.
I wanted to look back on my Journey of 2007, one that brought me to a new place, a new venture in my life and one that ended with me feeling more empty than I thought I could ever feel.
I started the new year with a job. I had so many things to look forward to, so many promises were given to me, I thought in a years time I would be financially set to do anything my wife and I wanted to do. I learned now, never take the promises of man, only rely on the promises of God, man will almost always disappoint you, but God will never leave you alone.
We were searching for a home to call our own, so many things were going our way. I felt like I was on cloud nine and with so many houses to choose from, it was kind of stressful, but in a good way, we had a chance to be patient and just find what we wanted. We finally decided on a house, after seeing 100 houses. That is no exaggeration, my realtor made sure I knew it was that much.
After settling in the home and me focusing on my job, things started to change really quick. I felt a sense of stress building up with my bosses. It was like night and day. Their attitudes changed toward everything, I was given assignments that they even knew there was no way I could finish them in the allotted amount of time given. They started giving me projects, expecting me to finish them, when I was never trained to do such projects, they expected me to fix problems that they couldn't fix for years and expected me to do miracles and get it done in days. When I would address this with them, I was reminded numerous times that how much my salary was and how much my health insurance was, which they paid for. I was given tasks that not even a group of five could finish in a week.
I would go to God each and every day asking him to help me, to help me do what is needed of me, but it kept getting overwhelming. They expected more and more and just added things on, and would want an answer that day, when I was still working on the many other things I was given. I started to realize that something was wrong, that a change needed to be made. I addressed again my situation and they promised a change and they agreed it was unfair. But things never changed and only got worse. I knew that I needed to stay working with them because I brought my family from NY to live in FL and we didn't have any other source of income.
Well, I didn't even have a chance to do anything about that, I became ill with a 103 fever for 7 days straight, and on the seventh day, I had 105 fever at 3 am. My wife took me to the doctor, all along leaving the bosses messages that I was very ill and had to be seen. After my visit and the doctor, in which he diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection, I arrived home to receive an email that stated I was fired because I was not focused and allowed my family, my weekends, my church to get in the way of what they wanted or expected from me. I couldn't believe it, what was I going to do now. But one good thing out of that was that after a few days, my fevers were gone, never to come back again. Was it God that intervened, did he do something to get me out of there. God knew that if I quit, that I would be worse off, so by letting them fire me, I was in a better situation, even though I didn't think so.
Well, God knows why he does what he does, and after that incident, I was able to collect unemployment from NY. I had enough credits from my previous job that I could collect for at least 6 months. What a Blessing, it was not what I wanted, but it kept us afloat with our bills and mortgage. God opened up another door and my wife landed a job as a Social Worker in the local Hospital. That was a big step for us, because now I could focus on landing a job that was in my field. Well that journey took me from training as a school bus operator to working a few months in the post office. An experience that truly amazed me and taught me a valid lesson, be careful what you pray for and what you ask God for. It was a job that I quickly realized wasn't for me.
I found myself depressed, out of work and not knowing why I had to endure this situation in my life now. When all I do is follow after God and do as I feel he wants me to do. But I know that this new year 2008, brings much promise. I look at it as a new start with God. A way for me to get even closer to him and allow him to move in my life.
Sometimes, God does things for a reason, when he sees that you are becoming ill, or your family life is suffering or your walk with him is struggling, he does things to shake up your life, he may want you to leave a job because he knows that if you stay there, your life will suffer, that he won't be able to use you as he wants to, so we must trust that he is working behind the scenes in every situation that we face. And facing it, knowing and understanding that it will be hard to have patience, but if we hang in there, hang on to his word, the end result will be a bigger blessing than we could have ever imagined.
I took a few verses from a song sang by my friend Calvin Hunt, who was also nominated for two Dove awards for his new album "Bridges". The first part just speaks volumes to what I have gone through this past year, here it is:
When I look back on my journey,
and everything that I've been through.
With every lesson I have learned,
and every twist and every turn,
I stand amazed.
I've been tested by the fire,
and I made it through some raging storms.
I lived enough to know,
I would have never made it on my own.
No Longer I who live,
but Jesus living in me.
I thank God for putting me through trials and tribulations, because each and every time I have come through it with a sense of peace and just offer God all the praise. I know that he is behind the scenes in my current situation and I also know that when he is ready, he will pour such a blessing on my life that my praises to him will be all so worth it. We have to praise him in the good times and the bad times, this way when we face a trial in our lives, it won't be that hard to deal with. Sometimes we just lose site of the cross, but we have to remain focused and he will help us to ride out the storm. I have to remember that he never gives us too much that we can't handle, he is always there and will always provide.
Thank You Lord for just giving me hope and just speaking to my heart when I am faced with a situation that I do not see any end to it. I know you are there and I know you will never leave my side. I Love you Lord.
Well, that right there, is wrong. God can help you, he is the only one that can get you out of those types of feelings, of situations, but I guess unless you go to him wholeheartedly, you won't get out of it.
I wanted to look back on my Journey of 2007, one that brought me to a new place, a new venture in my life and one that ended with me feeling more empty than I thought I could ever feel.
I started the new year with a job. I had so many things to look forward to, so many promises were given to me, I thought in a years time I would be financially set to do anything my wife and I wanted to do. I learned now, never take the promises of man, only rely on the promises of God, man will almost always disappoint you, but God will never leave you alone.
We were searching for a home to call our own, so many things were going our way. I felt like I was on cloud nine and with so many houses to choose from, it was kind of stressful, but in a good way, we had a chance to be patient and just find what we wanted. We finally decided on a house, after seeing 100 houses. That is no exaggeration, my realtor made sure I knew it was that much.
After settling in the home and me focusing on my job, things started to change really quick. I felt a sense of stress building up with my bosses. It was like night and day. Their attitudes changed toward everything, I was given assignments that they even knew there was no way I could finish them in the allotted amount of time given. They started giving me projects, expecting me to finish them, when I was never trained to do such projects, they expected me to fix problems that they couldn't fix for years and expected me to do miracles and get it done in days. When I would address this with them, I was reminded numerous times that how much my salary was and how much my health insurance was, which they paid for. I was given tasks that not even a group of five could finish in a week.
I would go to God each and every day asking him to help me, to help me do what is needed of me, but it kept getting overwhelming. They expected more and more and just added things on, and would want an answer that day, when I was still working on the many other things I was given. I started to realize that something was wrong, that a change needed to be made. I addressed again my situation and they promised a change and they agreed it was unfair. But things never changed and only got worse. I knew that I needed to stay working with them because I brought my family from NY to live in FL and we didn't have any other source of income.
Well, I didn't even have a chance to do anything about that, I became ill with a 103 fever for 7 days straight, and on the seventh day, I had 105 fever at 3 am. My wife took me to the doctor, all along leaving the bosses messages that I was very ill and had to be seen. After my visit and the doctor, in which he diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection, I arrived home to receive an email that stated I was fired because I was not focused and allowed my family, my weekends, my church to get in the way of what they wanted or expected from me. I couldn't believe it, what was I going to do now. But one good thing out of that was that after a few days, my fevers were gone, never to come back again. Was it God that intervened, did he do something to get me out of there. God knew that if I quit, that I would be worse off, so by letting them fire me, I was in a better situation, even though I didn't think so.
Well, God knows why he does what he does, and after that incident, I was able to collect unemployment from NY. I had enough credits from my previous job that I could collect for at least 6 months. What a Blessing, it was not what I wanted, but it kept us afloat with our bills and mortgage. God opened up another door and my wife landed a job as a Social Worker in the local Hospital. That was a big step for us, because now I could focus on landing a job that was in my field. Well that journey took me from training as a school bus operator to working a few months in the post office. An experience that truly amazed me and taught me a valid lesson, be careful what you pray for and what you ask God for. It was a job that I quickly realized wasn't for me.
I found myself depressed, out of work and not knowing why I had to endure this situation in my life now. When all I do is follow after God and do as I feel he wants me to do. But I know that this new year 2008, brings much promise. I look at it as a new start with God. A way for me to get even closer to him and allow him to move in my life.
Sometimes, God does things for a reason, when he sees that you are becoming ill, or your family life is suffering or your walk with him is struggling, he does things to shake up your life, he may want you to leave a job because he knows that if you stay there, your life will suffer, that he won't be able to use you as he wants to, so we must trust that he is working behind the scenes in every situation that we face. And facing it, knowing and understanding that it will be hard to have patience, but if we hang in there, hang on to his word, the end result will be a bigger blessing than we could have ever imagined.
I took a few verses from a song sang by my friend Calvin Hunt, who was also nominated for two Dove awards for his new album "Bridges". The first part just speaks volumes to what I have gone through this past year, here it is:
When I look back on my journey,
and everything that I've been through.
With every lesson I have learned,
and every twist and every turn,
I stand amazed.
I've been tested by the fire,
and I made it through some raging storms.
I lived enough to know,
I would have never made it on my own.
No Longer I who live,
but Jesus living in me.
I thank God for putting me through trials and tribulations, because each and every time I have come through it with a sense of peace and just offer God all the praise. I know that he is behind the scenes in my current situation and I also know that when he is ready, he will pour such a blessing on my life that my praises to him will be all so worth it. We have to praise him in the good times and the bad times, this way when we face a trial in our lives, it won't be that hard to deal with. Sometimes we just lose site of the cross, but we have to remain focused and he will help us to ride out the storm. I have to remember that he never gives us too much that we can't handle, he is always there and will always provide.
Thank You Lord for just giving me hope and just speaking to my heart when I am faced with a situation that I do not see any end to it. I know you are there and I know you will never leave my side. I Love you Lord.
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